Next On The To Do List: The Garbage Man

by Diego

Let's see, I've done homeless men in Brazil, random construction workers off the street and married white men whose wives were 8-months pregnant. Just when my hags had thought I couldn't stoop any lower, I come to realize I have the finest motherfucking garbage man working on my street weekdays. If you wanna watch, join me Monday thru Fridays on my fire escape around 1 a.m.

This is not your average garbage man from the Bronx. This is a man who hauls heavy bags of trash all night long shirtless, wearing a Yankees cap and his pants hanging low. Even in a chilly autumnal night he has no shirt on and throws those black bags onto the back of that garbage truck like they were bitches he had just been done pounding, and it was now time to chuck 'em.

He has the kind of body that only a straight man could have: organically muscular without having to go to the gym a single day of the week. I stop jacking off to Shemale porn every night around 12:45 a.m. and go to the fire escape wait for him to pass by. He has never noticed me. I suppose he may be used to the staring by now. Even my straight roommate is aware of his hotness ("That guy, I have to admit, is very good looking".)

Last time my main fag hag was over I showed him to her and she just had to have him too. So we both went downstairs pretending to just be chilling in front of the apartment at two in the morning. We gawked without a hint of shyness. We wanted him to make eye contact so we could offer him a bath upstairs, a nice fluffy towel and then an infinite amount of unforgettable blow jobs.

But he never paid attention to our staring, to our creaming our pants as he spat on the ground, burped and hauled 40-pound garbage bags onto a moving vehicle. So next time we decided I'm gonna dress up as a girl and we will holla at him from the fire escape, like Rapunzel, hoping he will hold on to our braids and climb onto our apartment to pound both of our asses until sunrise. Honey, I won't even mind the smell. Eating ass doesn't smell exactly nice anyway. And that's what I've been doing all Sunday afternoon.

I Basically Fucked A Locksmith

by Diego

So much for trying to stay celibate in New York for two weeks. Next thing you know you meet a charming young locksmith at your job and that's it. You're back to your wild Craigslist-esque ways. Except this trick was spawn by the real world, imagine that.

He came in to fix the lock to the storage, which was stuck. And since everyone at my work place is a bottom we had to call to get the thing fixed. I never had a thing for locksmiths. As a matter of fact, when I think of them I picture an old guy or some Korean immigrant who ignores everything you say and then charges you $500 for a key. But this locksmith surprised me. He was in his early 20s and had a thick Israeli accent. He wore glasses, was a bit scrawny and in dire need for a haircut. But I decided to flirt anyway, because it's fun to risk losing your job over Jewish cock, I suppose.

The thing is, he flirted back. He wasn't feminine at all, despite the intellectual/hipster look. Which kept me interested. Plus, my fag hag is Jewish and has told me that most straight men in Israel fuck fags because unlike America, they have this thing where they try to enjoy their sexuality.

So I watched him hammer a screwdriver onto the broken lock so hard it almost made me cum. He unscrewed things and slammed things with such mastery and dexterity I just wanted to reward him with the best blow job a Manhattanite could give him before he went back to Bed-Stuy.



When the new lock was up and running he decided to test it with both of us inside the storage space. I asked him if he had watched "Yasser and Jagger". He said no. "So you likes the Israeli gay films, huh?", he said. Yes, and I likes your Israeli straight dick too, so do me already!

Anyway, he wasn't druze or Brazilian or anything so of course I had to work for my meat, honey. When he said the service was done, I asked him: "Really? So you will never be back to visit us?". And he said: "No. Why I come back and visit? What else do you need me do?". And I smiled. The kind of universal smile only a fag can give a straight guy -- as if saying: honey, consider your dick sucked already.

He pulled it out of his pants, I sucked that motherfucker like it was the Intifada, honey. He came quickly in my mouth as he pinched my nipples (human contact, also a perk one can indulge in when on non-American soil). We came out of storage, I paid him for his services with my boss's credit card and he kissed me on the cheek. Like he wasn't ashamed. Like he wanted more. So hopefully I will accidentally be locked out of my apartment sometime soon.