Tranny for a Night

by Diego

Due to peer pressure (i.e. my Hag begging me to do drag), I finally got around to dressing like a tranny and hitting New York City's She-Male nightlife.

My Fag Hag and I hit up Broadway for the essentials: Victoria's Secret $25 push-up bra (I'm a 36-B), frilly pink dress at Express ($35), cheap Sephora make-up (their own line, $6 per item), black cardigan to cover up the biceps at H&M ($19.99) and a silver clutch at one of those shady Chinatown kiosks ($12).

I didn't know about any Tranny bars so I posted a "Anybody knows of Tranny bars for tonight?" ad on Craigslist. Most of the responses were versions of "Why go to a bar when you can just come over and suck my cock?". But a couple other trannies were nice enough to suggest a couple places, so we ended up cabbing to Maya Lounge (on 14 E. 33rd St., between Madison and 5th Ave.).

My Hag did a good job covering my beard and making me look like a chic She-Male, not some cheap-ass crack whore. So I was feeling confident. Interestingly enough, I feel more "in drag" when wearing a suit and tie than when wearing a brunette wig, high heel fuck-me boots and a push-up bra.

The place wasn't packed, but the atmosphere was surprisingly friendly. The bar changes colors and the light is dim, which shows they know their clientèle (God only knows how fast my beard grows). There were plenty of post-op-looking trannies in skanky-ass outfits and acting like total whores. So I was the demure, sophisticated bitch by default.

This black guy approached me and started chatting me and my Hag up. Drinks were $13 a piece so I was hoping the motherfucker would buy me one. But he didn't want to waste any time: "Let's go to your place; you can suck my dick while I eat your friend's pussy". Which is a black man's version of white men's "Can I take you out for dinner?".

Anyway, I wasn't about to stick around all night waiting for Prince charming. I could always post "Tranny Whore Needs Some Pounding" on Craigslist, have a couple of Brazilians over and call it a night -- in case the black guy disappointed.

Which he did even before he took his clothes off. "Are you gonna rape me? Are you gonna dress me up in a thong and rape me?", he asked. Excuse me. Way to not have no idea of what this is really about, fool. I'm the bitch, you're the rapist. Anyway, he was married and had 6 kids, so whatever, that was hot enough.

He drove us home and my Hag immediately opened her Mac -- bitch can't stay an hour without her Craigslist. So I brought black dude to my room and he flipped me over and touched my body like only a straight married man does: with actual lust. None of that theater gay guys have to go through: pretend you're butch and I'll pretend I believe you.

This man's cock was so fat it seemed sick. Like bee-stung or something. His sexuality was so bottled-up (therefore fucked up), he kept uttering things like: "Am I gay? Am I a faggot too?". And I said "No", to which he said "Come on, tell me the truth". And the truth is, if you're 38 and you still don't know, then I don't think you have enough time left to figure it out, so go ahead and eat my coochie, fool.

For more Diego blogs, click here.

Brooklyn's Mermaid Parade!

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Flag Day in Hudson!

by Diego

Hudson, N.Y., population 1,000 or whatever, may not have a Gay Pride parade, but they sure have Flag Day! The event is the culmination of all things "small town": lots of cheap, bad food; absurdly high concentration of overweight folks; church-sponsored floats!; bank-sponsored floats!; intense clapping at anything remotely American -- but also a high concentration of HOT super STRAIGHT MEN. Men so straight they can barely walk and talk, they can barely fit their masculinities inside their bodies.

Check out the video of the parade the Big Gay Apple shot a couple weeks ago. Pay special attention to the little children (specially the dyke-in-training baby with the grumpy face and the little girl showing her panties) and the ending part -- a plethora of slow motion close ups of Hudson's finest straight hunks!

For more on Hudson, check out the town's only virtual gay escape at GayHudson.com

Pride Fun: How to Use Your Hag as a Toy

by Diego

I don't know about you, but I often like to regress. Meaning: act childish for the sake of acting childish. A way to rebel against this burden called adulthood. That usually happens in the shape of me making a toy out of my fag hag. More than just a Barbie doll too. Besides telling her what to wear and who to suck, I have fun using her for my own laughter. It seems a little unethical, but as long as she isn't hurt or too traumatized, I feel like it's fair game.

Our hierarchy is pretty clear: fag first, hag second. That is a non-issue. If we only have cash for one coffee, she goes thirsty; if one Metro card runs out of money, she stays home; if we both want the same trick, she goes home alone. That's just standard. But lately I've been trying to turn the whole play-thing up a notch. I figured, if she's gonna live on my bed for three weeks, I have the right to fuck with her. Just think about how many tricks I could be sucking were she not sprawled out in my living quarters snoring like a constipated piglet.

Like, she asked me for a T-shirt to serve as her pajama, so I told her the only one I had was this one that has "I Love Gay Porn" written on it. She hesitated but put it on. "No one will see me in it while I sleep anyway", she reasoned. Except that the next morning I told her she had to keep wearing the "I Love Gay Porn" T-shirt outside too because I was late and could not wait for her to change shirts. She was probably afraid I was gonna leave her at home alone and obliged. So here is this Midwestern chick parading around SoHo with this "I Love Gay Porn" t-shirt on giggling with her gym-bunny fag. The tourists were appalled, but she was too busy yapping to notice.

A few days after that I had to stop by the Big Gay Apple's studios in the East Village to pick up some "props", which included an 18-inch double-sided blue dildo. Guess who carried it all the way back to NoLiTa in broad daylight? Damn right. The hag, of course. She asked for a black bag, I told her that was offensive against the gay community: "It implies you think there is something wrong with our culture", I said. She felt bad, apologized and carried the damn dildo 20 blocks around Manhattan. Most people just assumed it was some sort of fucked up baguette, but some guys were laughing at her sorry ass pretty hard.

If you have any suggestions as to how to better humiliate my fag hag leave a comment. It's never too much. The bitches need to fucking learn.

For more Diego blogs click here.

Happy Pride everyone! Just remember! This year's pride theme is Aliens, and I'm going as a chest popper!

I really can't wait to be out there in it, taking pictures. Here's what I'm going to be doing:

Tommorow, I'm going to wake up, wash out my pits and head over to Coney Island mermaid parade at 2pm in Coney Island. If I don't make out with a blue-painted twink on the Wonderwheel, I'm really not doing my job right. It's free, and it's supposed to be totally worth the long subway ride.

Then I'm going to the Cafe Con Leche reunion party at Pasha, (which is at 618 W. 46th St) $20 dollar donation to go to the Hispanic AIDS Forum. I'm going because that's what they call me on the streets of Harlem and I want to find out what it means.

Also, I'm going to two super secret parties. Email me for info.

Sunday, I'll be at my first NYC pride parade, and dance on the pier!

I find it particularly hard to make straight friends. All of the friends that I had in College from the sports teams all tossed me aside when they heard that I was gay. I blame it on the fact that straight men simply do not know what to do with a gay man, let alone what to talk about. It doesn't seem to cross their minds that I'm just as capable to discuss the latest sports scores as I was before I informed them that I like getting a dick in my ass (of course I didn't tell them in those words). They simply cannot conceive the idea that I can enjoy the same things that they do and that my life isn't like an episode of 'Will and Grace'.

I did however, manage to make one bisexual friend: Bradley.

Bradley and I have been friends for a while. We actually enjoy watching the Yanks game on television. We're like a version of the 'Odd Couple' (Oh! Stereotypical gay reference to a Broadway Show!). He can easily pass as a straight man with his slightly toned abs and natural hair color. I'm really no match with my skinny frame and bleached hair.

Anyways, Bradley was planning on going out of town on business for about two weeks to a seminar for his business and he wanted to leave a special gift for his boyfriend Chris while he was out of town. Apparently they had grown tired of the usual phone sex they had gone through the last couple of departures. Brad then hatched an idea to tape a video tape, a special sort of video tape for Chris. In layman's terms he wanted to jack off in front of my infamous camera.

I of course consented and agreed to be the cameraman (though lately I've been suffering from lack of getting my dick sucked and Brad isn't a bad looking fella so I wouldn't have minded...Though I'm sure Chris would have). So I settled for filming. Brad was comfortable with it because in the past the three of us had gotten together on numerous occasions for long nights in bed together forming an assembly line of pleasure giving and a chorus of 'Fuck Yeahs!'. What I wouldn't give to make Brad's eyes roll into the back of his skull, but as I stated, I settled.

Bradley had been to my house before on numerous occasions, so taking my precious camera from me with a seductive smile he dangled the machinery in front of me, and teasingly unzipped his pants with a wink. My dick throbbed and seemed to have a magnetic pull as I followed him.

Walking backwards in long strides he led me into the bathroom, turned the nob of the shower, and immediately began to remove his clothing...

Control Freaks

by Sean

Power is sexy.

I heard, and read that a hundred times, on the banners for the Gay Male S/M Activists block party, Folsom Street East. And it is sexy. I really like being in control, whether it's me tying my twink to the bed and running my nails down the front of him, or pushing him down on his knees up against the wall and face fucking him. It makes everything so much more intense.

And I've been a boy, too. Being tied up, being told what to do, you can reach levels of ecstasy that are unheard of by mortal men. That's why it's such a huge industry, and that's why so many people came...

That guy put his hand on my shoulder, and said, "My god, you're shaking. My god, you're hard." And I was both nervous and turned on. Nervous because there were so many tops there, and they'd all think I was a bottom, and turned on because there were so many people there who looked exactly like what I'm into.

The (young) guys there were really hot. Huge chest and back tattoos aplenty, wearing the least amount of leather (or latex) possible. Sure, there were more grey bears with super long nipples than young guys, but there WERE a good amount of super sexy guys who all looked like they would give me a great toss. I got asked how I dyed my hair a lot, and someone in leather actually stuttered the line, "Excuse me, did I talk to you on the Internet?" I was so happy to get hit on. I think I only got a few grumbly, Wanna suck this's. Which you'll get anywhere in New York.

There was an asshole pie eating contest!

The music? I can forgive a capella Cher if it's at a Pride event. But the event was so visceral that it needed a beat behind it. Techno would have been much more at home than Bryan Adams.

So the next time you read a story about guys who pee in expensive watches? Don't laugh. Power is sexy.

TrannySurprise.com: Crossdresser, Pre-Op or Post-Op?

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S/M Block Party and Cuckoo Club

by Sean

This Sunday, I'll be at The Gay Male S/M Activist’s 11th Annual Folsom Street East™ (West 28th Street, between 10th and 11th Avenues) from 2pm to 8pm. It's New York City's one and only S/M Leather Fetish block party. Boy would I like to live on that block.

The event is being held to raise money for lots of good causes! Like, last year they raised over $200,000 for he LGBT Community Center, the NYC Gay & Lesbian Anti-Violence Project, God’s Love We Deliver, & Rivington House. Just goes to show you that there's always a golden heart under all that leather.

Colton Ford, Jason Walker, Sylvia Tosun, Fredrick Ford, Trai La Trash, Brian Kent, The Imperial Court, John Murdock, Murdock's Twisted Balloon, aka. The Latex Pimp, Brian Barry & Paul Short are all going to be there. With beats provided by Quentin Harris, Rich King & Carlos Nascimento.

Then, I'm going to The Cuckoo Club at The Hiro Ballroom! I hear it's THE place to be on Sunday nights in the summer, because they've got a swanked out roof deck.

There's no cover for either of these events, but please, give some money at the Leather Fetish Block Party. It's for a good cause!

I hope to see you all there! You'll at least see all the pictures I take on Monday!

Sweaty Asses at Splash!

by Sean

I was out last Friday with a few friends who had just moved to NYC and wanted to get the basic lay of the land. As I was giving them the tour a really cute guy (what better way to welcome them to NYC?!) handed us all flyers from boiparty.com.

Upon arriving home I signed up for the website and received an email about an upcoming event that sounded exciting. It was to take place at Splash (50 W. 17th St. in Chelsea), a club I'd been meaning to check out for some time and I was eager to hear that it was a free event for college-aged kids. I, of course, called up my friends and we made plans to meet there next weekend. I even called ahead and told the manager that I was press and he said it was perfectly ok if I showed up and snapped some photos.

Hey Lady!? That's not allowed!!

It was stated the place had 4 levels. I was only able to make it to 2 (a dance floor and a chill down room) because I was having so much fun! The top floor is your traditional fog and lights dance hall with two big bars. Two go go dancers right out there on the dance floor where you can grab right onto 'em, and one on each bar. And like a cherry on top, there was an MTV dance party catwalk.

The bottom floor was more of a chill out room, with squeaky white pleather couches, and an all-black bar. The red lighting kind of reminded me of Army boots.

And, the shower was really hot. We didn't have a shower back home in our gay bar. It's on the bottom floor, and I guess the go go dancers go there to wash the filth of one hundred dollar bills off their sweaty asses. I only think this, because it looks like they're really washing, and they're all clean and oiled up when they get out.

Ooh, or maybe it's their first stop when coming to the club, after a hard day trying to become the next great Broadway star. I noticed a kind of slowness when they first started, letting the water run over their hair with their head down. You know, like you do every morning before you go to your straight job.

They start slow, and go over every inch. I'm getting hard just thinking about it.

Gay Hudson

by Diego

We, at the Big Gay Apple, had the pleasure to go to Hudson, N.Y. for Fag Day, I mean, Flag Day. Ahhh, obese white people eating Fried Dough on the ground, smiling police officers, 1-dollar lattes, 9-person gay population -- you just gotta love Upstate New York. It's basically like the Midwest, except even more Midwestern. A bit like how trannies turn out to be more womenly than actual women, and how faggots teach aspiring supermodels how to walk on television. The version of the thing surpassing the original.

Anyway, one thing Hudson doesn't have is tops. Not that Manhattan has them, but at least it doesn't take us much to import them from Jersey and Queens. There is one "gay-ish" bar in this 7-thousand-person town, it's called the Red Dot and the bartender wears pig tails and the same black top every single day of the week. Drinks are cheap, the decoration is surprisingly tranny, I mean, trendy, and the bottoms co-exist with the uber-straights. In a town with a handful of bars, one just has to compromise. Fags flaming on one end of the bar, straight men comparing tattoos on the other.

Things to do in Hudson: eat Fried Dough on Flag Day, drive around town with the sound system blasting, stare at flab stomachs passing by and count down the days to go back to Manhattan. Not that the town is a total bore, it is actually charming and filled with incredible antique shops and genuinely smiley faces. But once poised by New York City's neon lights, forever addicted to it. Plus, even the hottest of all queens can't possibly get laid more than once a trimester at a place like Hudson. It is a piece of land frozen in time, which is good and bad. Good because one can easily relax and keep track of what matters in life. Bad because sucking cock becomes this elusive notion, a bit like vacationing in the Greek Islands: possible, but not likely to happen twice in one's lifetime.

The straight guys really are hot, though. Highlights include the Arab guy from the local Deli (yeah, there's only one or two, and they close at like 4 p.m. everyday), this underage thug we met at a local fair and this one pregnant bitch's baby daddy we saw pass by on Warren Street.

Even though Hudson is a melting pot of unemployed blacks, struggling immigrants and affluent NYC fags tired of bad quality Manhattan coke, no one seems to insult one another. Perhaps a sense of "we are all stuck in the same shitty town, let's at least be civil". Except when Big Gay Apple's CEO was walking her dog and some toothless guy shouted: "Your Dog is Fucking Gay". Which is kind of bizarre, considering the dog is a biological female.

For more on Hudson check out its only gay blog: www.GayHudson.com.

Porn Review: SpankMeHard.com

When it comes to spanking, it is just intensity or willingness of admittance that vary, because everybody likes a little smacking. No wonder spanking web sites and services are some of the most popular on the Web. Freud would say it is a desire which, like all desires, takes us back to our childhood – since we associate it with our parents spanking us. I just say it is pre-requisite for good sex. Latinos and blacks know it. White guys, not so much. You have to either ask them to do it or just pretend you “don’t like to get spanked anyway”.

SpankMeHard.com offers a yummy plethora of spanking videos featuring European, Latino and White men and their respectively beet-red behinds. MPEG galleries also include Dildoes, Bondage, Shaving and, my favorite, Frat Boys Initiations! And the Frat guys actually look legit, not flaming twinks with arched eyebrows trying to pass for butch.

In “ThreeWay Spanking” the guys look like real people you might actually fuck, not plastic virtual concoctions devoid of hair and human pores. Which make the whole vicarious fucking easier to experience. A tattooed white guy licks the buns before smacking them too: you know you gotta tease ‘em with love before you hurt them with a heavy hand.

Another plus is the fact that you don’t have to download the videos and clips onto your desktop, you just press play and they load automatically, like YouTube videos, minus the shitty pixels.

The menus can be kind of all over the place, a bit like your legs at one of those Park Slope sex parties, but wherever you click on SpankMeHard you usually find a good surprise. Like a “Jersey Boys” video or a “Motorcycle Spank” ass-smacking session. The “Daily Porn Clips” is also a great resource for those who “don’t watch the same movie twice”. And if you have a session on your porn site called “Fruit-Fucker”, I’m sorry, you automatically deserve a place on my browser Bookmark. So, WASPs, do your homework. Spanking Lesson #1: if you gotta ask permission, it doesn't even count.

Ohhh Joan!

I went to see Joan Rivers at the Cutting Room! Just to set the fabulous scene: I walk in to my table, which is already inhabited by 4 other gay men and their cocktails, and I look over at the stage and it's covered with huge cue cards with Paris Hilton, Angelina Jolie and other recognizable gems. I knew I was in for a great evening.

She comes on the scene in silver glittery couture and looks surprisingly good! I have to admit I was looking forward to seeing a plastic surgery monster, but she can still work it. She starts off by insulting every ethnic group in the place, but sent major love to our table: the GAYS! It was great! She talked right to our table the whole night.

Just when you think she can't get anymore UN p.c., she picks up her fur scarf and starts eating it while yelling, "Fuck you PETA and Fuck you Vegans". ohhhhhhhh yes, it's was high-brow comedy at its best. Good ole Joan also had her fill of awkward, I don't think I should really laugh at this, moments. Like when she went on her spree of 9/11 jokes, and said she and her friends were taking bets on 5th Avenue during the attack as to which person was gonna jump first: the crippled woman or the guy with the flaming mustache. Wah, Wuh. It was pretty quiet in the room, but the woman doesn't fucking flinch.

My favorite parts are when she talks about her "friends". She's like, "yeah, I'm good friends with Angelina Jolie, uggggg, I hate that bitch." LOVE it! Then she goes on a whole spree of faux charities she donates to like "Miracle Whip..because every kid deserves a delicious sandwich. then in the same breath, "uggg, I hate sick kids, they're so boring".

She does the cruise ship circuit and is starting to get into stand-up a lot more now and said she is trying new material so catch her soon; you won't be disappointed!

NewFest 2007: New York's LGBT Film Festival

NewFest kicked off last night with the premiere of Duncan Roy's "The Picture of Dorian Gray", based on the Oscar Wilde novel. We were too busy getting fucked in the ass by this 6foot4 top from Harlem to go to the screening, but we did make it to the after party, at Element (Houston and Essex, on the Lower East Side).

It was open bar, so one can't complain. The crowd was a mix of hot white 20somethings (who probably had nothing to do with any film), Williamsburg hipsters (who probably had nothing to do with any film, but think they had), gorgeous fag hags (whose fags might have had something to do with a film) and gray-haired gentlemen with mustaches, who must have been the filmmakers.

The great thing about Element is the star treatment they give the DJ booth, hanging from the middle of the room on the mezzanine, like a religious altar club-goers gather to praise, chant and dance to.

We did talk to some random girl since our trick thought she had also gone to UPenn because of a bag she had on. Turns out she doesn't even know what UPenn is and the only reason she is at the NewFest party is because she's fucking the DJ or something. Good for her.

Our film, "The Parricide Sessions", shows next Monday, June 4th at 10:15 p.m., click here for info and tickets.

This is what you must see at this year's gay film festival:

The Parricide Sessions: In his daring documentary feature debut, filmmaker Diego Costa tries to convince his father to participate in a series of role-playing exercises in which his father would portray Diego's ex-boyfriends. Not surprisingly, dad’s a bit uncomfortable with the idea. Integrating a wealth of home-video footage, The Parricide Sessions examines the dynamics between a gay son and his father, and the complex underpinnings of gay men’s longing for a father figure.
Monday, June 4th 10:15pm AMC Loews 34th St Theater 13

Harsh Beauty: Explore the secretive world of India’s hijras, eunuchs who are considered to be a third gender, neither male nor female - many willingly choosing castration.
Sunday, June 10th 6:00pm AMC Loews 34th St Theater 6

On The Downlow: In recent years, there has been much discussion and debate about the phenomenon of African-American men “on the downlow,” or seemingly heterosexual men who sleep with other men in private. Abigail Child’s documentary focuses on four such men in Cleveland, revealing the complex web of racial, societal, and familial forces that inform their behavior and identity.
Wednesday, June 6th 5:45pm AMC Loews 34th St Theater 13

The Birthday: Iran’s surprisingly liberal policies regarding transsexuality are explored in this illuminating documentary profiling MTFs and one FTM in the Islamic society. Because the Koran doesn’t say anything about transsexuality, unlike homosexuality, it is not forbidden – Ayatollah Khomeini himself granted religious permission for surgeries.
Friday, June 8th 6:00pm AMC Loews 34th St Theater 6

Blueprint: Kirk Shannon-Butts' Blueprint eschews traditional narrative for a fresh and intriguing approach to storytelling marked by a special attention to place and mood. Two attractive young African-American college students are drawn to one another despite essentially opposite personalities. Reserved Keith’s time in New York City is nearing its end, but when free-spirit Nathan suddenly appears, he finds himself slowly opening up to new possibilities.
Sat, Jun 2 1:00pm AMC Loews 34th St Theater 9

Bears: Bears have long been part of the gay community – finally, with Marc Klasfeld’s years-in-the-making documentary, there’s an enjoyable and engaging film offering an in-depth look at the subculture. Join Mr NY Bear and 15 other contestants from around the world as they compete for the title of Mr International Bear and the chance to represent the bear community worldwide.
Mon, Jun 4 3:30pm AMC Loews 34th St Theater 13

For tickets and info on the entire roster of films go to www.NewFest.org