5 Reasons to Visit Brazil This Holiday Season

by Diego


1. Anyone who's done -- or, rather, who has been done by a Brazilian knows that they are a different breed of men altogether. And you thought it was after the blacks that you couldn't come back! Look at those biceps. And the thing about it is, they don't even work out! They just haul rocks all day and surf. Oh, and they never wear any sunblock either, it's "gay".


2. Don't be fooled by the skimpy underwear: they usually don't wear any. That's gay too, down there. Can you just imagine the damage those hands could do to your pretty little American ass?


3. Don't be getting no ideas now, even getting rimmed is out of the question for straight Brazilians. They may fuck anything that walks, but they'd be rather caught dead than have anyone even touch their butts.


4. Did anyone say 'the perfect pillow'? All organically sculpted by hanging out at the beach playing soccer shirtless 6 hours a day, trying to score some pussy (don't worry, their definition of pussy is pretty broad).



5. Oh, his name is Marcos, if you really needed to know. And he is not even out of the ordinary for straight Brazilian men. They are a dime a dozen like that. So, you on Travelocity yet?

NoWayAmIGay.com Shocker: Some Straight Men Don't Go Gay!

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Down With Blowing Married Guys with Condoms!

by Diego

I understand they are trying to safeguard their wives' pussies, but that shouldn't mean I have to taste nasty latex oil crap when I give head. It is totally anti-climactic, anti-hedonist, anti-desire, basically fascist to expect me to feel the taste of slimy latex when I give blow jobs. HE gets all the pleasure (you know "them", it takes them very little to get pleasure) while I/WE are left pleasure-less just so they can CHEAT on their wives and yet not give them gonorrhea. In the mean time the motherfuckers wanna shoot the cum down our throats! I don't think so.


I'm gonna have to start including "Do you get head with a condom on or without?" in my list of things to ask before inviting straight guys over. I already have to go through a barrage of them without sounding too inquisitive: age, stats, location? How hung? Top, vers or bottom? Hit ass raw or rubbers? Suck or just get sucked? (if they say they suck immediately hit delete) Eat ass or like yours eaten? Into gangbangs, tagteams? You smack ass, slap face, spit on me? And my fave: would you mind taking a shit so that I can watch and then wipe you?

No, I'm not into scat. There's a difference between watching someone dump and eat what he is dumping. I suppose it's the excitement, the reassurance of seeing something come out of the ass meaning nothing will be going INSIDE the ass. That way I tell myself, with visual proof, that the guy is actually straight, not a bottom in disguise.


Anyway, my last trick of the day came over and he was like 5 inches shorter than expected (in height) and pulled out a condom as he unzipped his pants for me to suck. Bitch, please, why even bother? Fuck your dog's mouth instead, or the little gap between your mattress and the bed frame, idiot. You wanna use a dental dam to eat my ass out too? Or maybe some aluminum foil? A nice thick fabric swatch perhaps? Bitch, if you don't want your wife to get syphilis stop fucking around with other bitches in the first place. But if you are gonna do it, actually do it. Anyways, I was horny and it was either blowing plastic slime off his dick or going to class without having sucked dick all day long, so I blew plastic. It could have been worse, it could have been pussy.