Week in Review: The Construction Worker Is Mine!

by Diego

Uh, so I just got this phone call -- blocked number, of course -- from a girl. Which is
strange enough. If it's past 10pm and my hag is asleep, ain't no girl about to call me, trust me. I pick up and first thing I hear is: "So tell me, Diego, are you gay, bi, trans?"

What?

If this was a guy's voice, I'd answer it. Even if I had no idea who the guy was. I mean, most likely it would have been a long-lost trick. And if, at the time, I gave him my number, then, I'm sure he'd passed my litmus test (which is basically "Are you mostly straight? Cool, bring it on").

But a girl's voice? Honey, you ain't getting nothing from me. I asked "Who is this?". Twice. Until I realized "The fuck do I care?". She isn't fucking me, so there is no reason for me to waste my time with her illusive ghost-like presence on the other line. I hang up on her and she calls right back. Are you stupid? You block your number again and you think I'm still gonna pick up?

Now I realize it is most likely the girlfriend of one of my straight tricks from the Bronx, who sneaked into their email account or phone book and is trying to make justice with her own hands. Honey, I'm sorry, I am not responsible for your lack of cock-sucking skills. Deal with your man, leave his crossdressing Manhattan fags alone.

It would be funny though if she found my address and came knocking on my door asking for explanations, like only a hot-headed Dominican girl would. Catfight! Hot! Specially because my Pakistani roommate's entire family is currently visiting. They are devout Muslims who told me that "this thing that I do" (being a faggot) is "big sin in Pakistan, we punish with throwing little stone". Ouch.

Anyway, they would certainly be rather befuddled if some random mami from Queens stormed into the apartment accusing me of stealing her 6-foot-4, inked up, construction working Puerto Rican man from her.

But then again, maybe the Pakistanis wouldn't be that shocked. They were telling me about this tribe in the northwestern part of the country, by the Himalayans, the Pathans, where the men are known for being gay. "I mean, not gay, they do it to small boy". Oh, okay, so like tops. Or any given straight Brazilian guy.


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