The Postman Always Rings Twice

by Diego

It may seem hard to believe, but this actually happened. And if you live in New York, you know you could actually have happened -- even if very unlikely.

I am on my Mac doing some nonsense (probably checking Brazilian porn and looking for a job at Monster at the same time), when the buzzer rings in my apartment. I immediately buzz the person in, assuming it's one of my neighbors who routinely forgets their keys.

But, then, someone starts knocking on my door. I think UPS guy, for sure. But when I fling the door open what I see is a thugged-out Puerto Rican dude (Yankees cap, fat golden chain and all) standing there.

"May I help you?", I say, already flirtatiously, just in case.

"Oh, my bad, I think I got the wrong apartment numba."

"Oh, okay...who were you trying to reach?", I ask.

"Uh, this...girl. Uh..."

"Yeah, there are no girls living in here, I mean...", I say.

"Oh, my bad...", he says, yet, without seeming to want to leave. So I decide to take advantage of the random, undeniably sexual situation:

"Well, where did you come from?", I ask.

"I'm coming from the Bronx, yo", he says, which makes my nipples glass-cutting hard.

"Wow...I've never been to the Bronx...But now that you've come all the way here, do you think you maybe want a...blow job?", I ask, the way only a fag could.

"A blow job?", he asks, and stops for a second, as if reflecting upon the pros and cons of getting head from a hospitable faggot stranger. "Mmm..okay".

"But it has to be real quick, because I have meetings all day", I lie, as if to seem like I am the one doing him a favor.

He comes in, takes down his pants, and I go to work. He is entranced by the whole thing, and immediately hard. I give him a rim job too, 'cause I'm feeling generous. He even touches my dick, which is a big no no. I don't mind though, his butchness is so overwhelming that even if he took it up the ass he'd probably not lose any of it.

After he comes I interrogate him like only an intellectually-driven fag can. It is my chance to do anthropological work post-coitus, hellooo. And sort of validate the experience. It turns out he was in the Army and fought in Iraq for three years. He also used to be a drug dealer and did some time in jail, which made the whole scene much hotter in retrospect. When he said he had a girlfriend and fucked a tranny here and there, I about came again, through my fucking ears.

Awww, gotta love New York, the city where you can get anything delivered -- even what you didn't realize you'd ordered.

For more Diego, click here.