Gay Hudson

by Diego

We, at the Big Gay Apple, had the pleasure to go to Hudson, N.Y. for Fag Day, I mean, Flag Day. Ahhh, obese white people eating Fried Dough on the ground, smiling police officers, 1-dollar lattes, 9-person gay population -- you just gotta love Upstate New York. It's basically like the Midwest, except even more Midwestern. A bit like how trannies turn out to be more womenly than actual women, and how faggots teach aspiring supermodels how to walk on television. The version of the thing surpassing the original.

Anyway, one thing Hudson doesn't have is tops. Not that Manhattan has them, but at least it doesn't take us much to import them from Jersey and Queens. There is one "gay-ish" bar in this 7-thousand-person town, it's called the Red Dot and the bartender wears pig tails and the same black top every single day of the week. Drinks are cheap, the decoration is surprisingly tranny, I mean, trendy, and the bottoms co-exist with the uber-straights. In a town with a handful of bars, one just has to compromise. Fags flaming on one end of the bar, straight men comparing tattoos on the other.

Things to do in Hudson: eat Fried Dough on Flag Day, drive around town with the sound system blasting, stare at flab stomachs passing by and count down the days to go back to Manhattan. Not that the town is a total bore, it is actually charming and filled with incredible antique shops and genuinely smiley faces. But once poised by New York City's neon lights, forever addicted to it. Plus, even the hottest of all queens can't possibly get laid more than once a trimester at a place like Hudson. It is a piece of land frozen in time, which is good and bad. Good because one can easily relax and keep track of what matters in life. Bad because sucking cock becomes this elusive notion, a bit like vacationing in the Greek Islands: possible, but not likely to happen twice in one's lifetime.

The straight guys really are hot, though. Highlights include the Arab guy from the local Deli (yeah, there's only one or two, and they close at like 4 p.m. everyday), this underage thug we met at a local fair and this one pregnant bitch's baby daddy we saw pass by on Warren Street.

Even though Hudson is a melting pot of unemployed blacks, struggling immigrants and affluent NYC fags tired of bad quality Manhattan coke, no one seems to insult one another. Perhaps a sense of "we are all stuck in the same shitty town, let's at least be civil". Except when Big Gay Apple's CEO was walking her dog and some toothless guy shouted: "Your Dog is Fucking Gay". Which is kind of bizarre, considering the dog is a biological female.

For more on Hudson check out its only gay blog: www.GayHudson.com.