Pride Fun: How to Use Your Hag as a Toy

by Diego

I don't know about you, but I often like to regress. Meaning: act childish for the sake of acting childish. A way to rebel against this burden called adulthood. That usually happens in the shape of me making a toy out of my fag hag. More than just a Barbie doll too. Besides telling her what to wear and who to suck, I have fun using her for my own laughter. It seems a little unethical, but as long as she isn't hurt or too traumatized, I feel like it's fair game.

Our hierarchy is pretty clear: fag first, hag second. That is a non-issue. If we only have cash for one coffee, she goes thirsty; if one Metro card runs out of money, she stays home; if we both want the same trick, she goes home alone. That's just standard. But lately I've been trying to turn the whole play-thing up a notch. I figured, if she's gonna live on my bed for three weeks, I have the right to fuck with her. Just think about how many tricks I could be sucking were she not sprawled out in my living quarters snoring like a constipated piglet.

Like, she asked me for a T-shirt to serve as her pajama, so I told her the only one I had was this one that has "I Love Gay Porn" written on it. She hesitated but put it on. "No one will see me in it while I sleep anyway", she reasoned. Except that the next morning I told her she had to keep wearing the "I Love Gay Porn" T-shirt outside too because I was late and could not wait for her to change shirts. She was probably afraid I was gonna leave her at home alone and obliged. So here is this Midwestern chick parading around SoHo with this "I Love Gay Porn" t-shirt on giggling with her gym-bunny fag. The tourists were appalled, but she was too busy yapping to notice.

A few days after that I had to stop by the Big Gay Apple's studios in the East Village to pick up some "props", which included an 18-inch double-sided blue dildo. Guess who carried it all the way back to NoLiTa in broad daylight? Damn right. The hag, of course. She asked for a black bag, I told her that was offensive against the gay community: "It implies you think there is something wrong with our culture", I said. She felt bad, apologized and carried the damn dildo 20 blocks around Manhattan. Most people just assumed it was some sort of fucked up baguette, but some guys were laughing at her sorry ass pretty hard.

If you have any suggestions as to how to better humiliate my fag hag leave a comment. It's never too much. The bitches need to fucking learn.

For more Diego blogs click here.