My Date with a Proctologist

span style="font-style: italic;">by Chicklet

All I knew is that he was a doctor. When my friend hooked me up with his neighbor,I didn't ask too many questions. It had been a while since I'd seen any action; I'd recently ended an 8 year relation- ship, and wasn't quite in the swing of the dating
scene again. When my friend described him,all I heard was "doctor", and being a nice Jewish boy from Great Neck, that was good enough for me.

I met Chuck-(Dr. Charles Zimmerman, "but everybody calls me Chuck", he said) or brunch at the Vicero on Eighth Avenue. Oy, what a looker- strong jaw, deep brown eyes, and curiously well manicured fingernails.

I was smitten- I blabbed on and on about my work as an interior designer before finally asking him about his career. What was his specialty I wondered- surgery? Dermatology? Orthopedics?

"I'm a proctologist", he said calmly, taking a small bite of his omelet(with cheese, I might add. I was frozen with shock and disappointment, but only for an instant. So "I guess you could say, in your line of work everybody's an asshole!", I said, smiling, grasping for a lifeline.

Those pretty brown eyes went dead. "Gee, that's the first time I've heard that one", he replied.

I stood up and flung my napkin down onto the table. "You know, Chuckie", I said righteously, "you'd think you'd have a little more panache, I mean, you do finger strangers for a living!" With that, I sauntered away without a look back. It wasn't that I was grossed out. But I've been getting fucked for a long, long time, and the man examines butt- holes for a living and well, let's just say I'd be much happier with a dentist.