Not to start a war or anything, but...I suppose when you live in New York the line “Only in New York (this could be happening…)” comes up a lot. After a while you get used to the bizarre things the city provides. You realize coke is the new weed, and Meth is the new coke; bareback is the new normal, and group sex is the new three-way. And the strange becomes banal, the wrong becomes the inevitable. Little shocks New Yorkers.
Except when the third member of your Manhunt-enabled threesome turns out to be a Hasidic Jew. This black guy and I awaited for the third man to appear. I was already a little freaked out, because the black dude had asked me if I had ever had sex with a “little person.” “A midget?”, I asked. “A little person”, he replied, emphatically. I know one must make small talk, but outing oneself as a “small person” fetishist may make things even more awkward.
And then the Hasidic Jew arrived. With the little cap and the hair braid things. Now, nothing against the Jews, my main Hag is one of them, but isn’t it a little hypocritical to live for spiritual cleanliness, morning prayer and holiness of the soul – and then get tag-teamed on all fours in Alphabet City? Without taking the hat or the hair things off??
I kind of just stood there, in awe, watching the black guy fuck the Jewish guy in the ass. Total power bottom too. There was something unsettling about witnessing someone donning religious extremism iconography with a black cock in his mouth.
After all parties came, I couldn’t help but ask the Jew: “Is this, like, legal? In your religion…”. To which he replied “I gotta go”. Which I took as a “no”.
As he put his belt back on, I asked “What kinds of things are you not allowed to do?”. I mean, I had noticed he wasn’t feeling chatty, but when would I have the chance to talk candidly to a Hasidic Jew again?
Realizing my bottom curiosity, he said: “It is a bit strict, you know”, as he pulled out a cigarette pack out of nowhere. “And I gotta go back to Brooklyn”, he said.
When he left I turned to the black guy and said “Is it just me or you just fucked a Hasidic Jew in the ass?” To which he said: “Yeah, that was pretty weird, even for New York standards”. Daumn.
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